Politically Recollect

I remember the last time I ran for President.

It was a simpler time back then:

He whom never existed

For as long as he could remember, he didn't exist.

Never had.

He was Roger Skwishskoft. Or, at least, that's who he assumed he was had he existed.

The Blinking Christmas Lights Factory

Ah, Christmas time. 

Aaargh!!!!!! Christmas time.

The time of year where it is consciously accepted, even encouraged, to string up as many cheap flashing lights as one can and send the electricity grid into overdrive.

The Heat In The Kitchen

I walked into a melee in the kitchen. The appliances were bickering again. 

Apparently it all started when the pot called the kettle black, and the kettle took offence (it preferred the term 'onyx').

The Black and White Noise

In every person's life they have, at some point or another, experienced what is called 'the talk'.

Whilst I was not watching anything at all on the magical television box at an irrelevant time in my life I inadvertently delayed in pressing the 'up' channel button while flicking and was momentarily left on a show called 'The Talk', which left me confused, irritated and with a pounding headache.

Games to Play in Public Swimming Pools

Fancy a dip? If it's in a public swimming pool then it's a lucky dip if you'll come out alive.

Commonwealth Games misrepresentation

Once every four years television and the newspapers remind me of my greatest sporting moment. My one time misrepresenting my Country at 'the Games'.