Hi, I hope you can indulge me today, or at any time that you are reading this, as I would like to transcribe the lyrics to Pillow Talk - yet another musical masterpiece by renowned musician Zayn Malik. Zayn has written many classic hits such as Pillow Talk and presumedly others of different names. My wife has just informed me that he is also One Direction - a quick search of the wide world web (the 'internet' for short) shows that he was most likely the North West one, with his musical abilities a result of the cross-breeding of Kanye West and Kim Kardashian (that girl can sing, y'all!). Though my favourite song of his is InZayn In The Membrane, the Zayn Malik (nee North West) song that I would like to transcribe for you today (of which you can read at your own leisure - or download the audiobook and listen, as read by Donald Trump) is a little ditty of his called Pillow Talk. Enjoy.
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Song: Pillow Talk
Performed by Zayn Malik
Written by Zayn Malik, Levi Lennox (Annie's son. Or daughter?), Anthony Hannides, Michael Hannides (no relation)
Transcribed and interpreted by Ronnie Peace
Thursday, 25 February 2016
Friday, 12 February 2016
Another Valentine's Day Special #2: Material Love
Material Love
Lyrics by Ronnie Peace
Hello Mr Moth
Outside of my window.
Planning a break-in
to chew on my chinos.
Tuesday, 22 December 2015
The Blinking Christmas Lights Factory
Ah, Christmas time.
Aaargh!!!!!! Christmas time.
The time of year where it is consciously accepted, even encouraged, to string up as many cheap flashing lights as one can and send the electricity grid into overdrive.
Monday, 21 December 2015
A Private Conversation Between Adam and Eve
Some time before the commencement of sexual relations between the infamous Adam and Eve (no doubt as they wondered if they were brother and sister, or not), Adam got curious.
"Eve", he said, "what do you have hidden behind your leaf?"
Eve, taken aback by Adam's forward questioning and embarrassed by it, replied:
"Uhhhh ... I gotta split" And took off into the night.
"Eve", he said, "what do you have hidden behind your leaf?"
Eve, taken aback by Adam's forward questioning and embarrassed by it, replied:
"Uhhhh ... I gotta split" And took off into the night.
Thursday, 26 November 2015
The Heat In The Kitchen
I walked into a melee in the kitchen. The appliances were bickering again.
Apparently it all started when the pot called the kettle black, and the kettle took offence (it preferred the term 'onyx').
Apparently it all started when the pot called the kettle black, and the kettle took offence (it preferred the term 'onyx').
Thursday, 29 October 2015
Halloween for Idiots - What does Hallowe'en me'an?
Hallo'.
Weening you onto the true origin of Halloween is as easy as Paris Hilton. Or baking a pumpkin pie. But never the tween shall meet.
As an Australian, Halloween is simply an afternoon spent quietly inside, creeping around with the lights off to avoid the greedy, greasey handed rapping upon the front door of my house by strange children in order to salvage my sacred lolly and chocolate stash from their begging, filthy grasps.
But there's more to this horrifying day than meets the eye, and rots the teeth. Here's how:
Weening you onto the true origin of Halloween is as easy as Paris Hilton. Or baking a pumpkin pie. But never the tween shall meet.
As an Australian, Halloween is simply an afternoon spent quietly inside, creeping around with the lights off to avoid the greedy, greasey handed rapping upon the front door of my house by strange children in order to salvage my sacred lolly and chocolate stash from their begging, filthy grasps.
But there's more to this horrifying day than meets the eye, and rots the teeth. Here's how:
Thursday, 8 October 2015
Magpie Season
In Australia, 'Magpies' (or, the 'Australian Magpie') are a type of bird that many refer to as The Great White Sharks of the air.
Though, my wife says, "No they don't, that's stupid, no one says that!"
Though, my wife says, "No they don't, that's stupid, no one says that!"
Friday, 18 September 2015
The Stages Of Life
As humans we start this life much like we end it - crawling, incoherent and shitting our pants - such is the circle of life. The following is my scientific analysis on human life in a nutshell...
Life In A Metaphorical Nutshell
You have probably just read my learned piece on The Stages Of Life. And, presumedly, loved it very much, throwing bouquets of roses from the balcony with a tear in your eye in admiration. That's natural. If you haven't read it yet, you should. Or wait for the movie starring Jason Bateman and Celia Paquola and save yourself the hassle of reading.
In it (unless it was cut from the movie version) you will remember the well-known turn of phrase I had regurgitated in the name of journalism. That is, the one about life in a nutshell.
Of course, no one lives their life inside a nutshell. Unless you happen to be a nut.
In it (unless it was cut from the movie version) you will remember the well-known turn of phrase I had regurgitated in the name of journalism. That is, the one about life in a nutshell.
Of course, no one lives their life inside a nutshell. Unless you happen to be a nut.
Tuesday, 15 September 2015
A Poem: My Turn
My Turn
By Ronnie Peace
[A Poem about Australia's newest Prime Minister, 2015]
Malcolm before
Mal come again
Malcolm's turn now
Turn bull to PM
A butt of the joke
Abbott of the spill
Tony down to knee
The odds shorten, Bill
A Labor of love
A Liberal amount
The votes have come in
But the Greens won't count
A Labor of love
A Liberal amount
The votes have come in
But the Greens won't count
Bishop to Rook
Hockey one, Hockey two,
SCRATCH
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