Tuesday, 12 May 2015

Revealed: The Secrets To Flat-Pack Furniture Instructions and Installations

Good evening and welcome to "How To Design Instructions For Flat-Pack Furniture Installations"...

...Sorry, what is that my Mexican friend in the second row? No, seƱor, "English 101" is down the hall - HOWEVER, we strongly encourage you to do this course prior to any learn-to-speak-or-learn-to-write-in-English classes. In fact, it is a recommendation of this course that you not be fluent in the language of the country that you design flat-pack instructions for.

Saturday, 2 May 2015

This Is Super

I haven't always been a Superhero. You could say I stumbled upon it by accident.
Go on, say it. Say. It!
[Caution: the following contains many superlatives]

Thursday, 23 April 2015

Tuesday, 14 April 2015

A Timely Piece

[ THIS STORY WAS PUBLISHED BY SICK LIT MAGAZINE ]

Introduction: The literary work you are about to read has been widely described as "...ahead of it's time...". Granted, this was by me. And, mainly due to the fact that it hadn't been written yet. It was penned in the future and I went there, exactly to the future, to get it for you. So here it is. Ahead of it's time.

Have I ever told you about the time when I travelled back in time?

Monday, 30 March 2015

The Idea That Birthed Gogglebox on The People's Couch - Part 2 The Dialogue

(continued from Part 1)

And now, for your square-eyes only, here is the exclusive and mind-numbing dialogue that brought forth the beauty that is the idea of Gogglebox*...
(* or, The People's Couch for American and Canadian viewers)



Friday, 27 March 2015

Is watching Gogglebox from The People's Couch a Good Idea? - Part 1 The Rant

No. And here's how...

A wise man once said that watching TV will make your eyes go square. Every father has at least at one time said that masturbating will make you go blind. 

Well, watching the loosely termed television show Gogglebox* falls somewhere inbetwixed.
(* In America & Canada, hot shot TV execs renamed this show The People's Couch so that it would seem like the show was their own idea and so their bosses would not be able to google it to see if if they had copied the idea or not.)

Though, the entertainment value of the former and the latter far surmounts that of Gogglebox. Or does it?!?

Friday, 6 March 2015

Bossy boots

As detailed in the brilliant documentary "Horrible Bosses" every single human has a natural tendency to want to put their bosses out of their misery. Or, at the very least, to cause harm or pain to.

Reginald was no exception to this rule.

Of course, he could never act on these God-given urges. Or could he?

Tuesday, 24 February 2015

Hare Of The Dog - The Live Baiting Scandal

Last week (our time) the Australian Greyhound Racing Industry was in turmoil as ABC's Four Corners program uncovered the explosive and disturbing revelation that trainers were conducting live baiting. That is, training greyhounds to race with rabbits, possums and other animals on the lure as bait. 
Cartoon: an Artist's impression of the live-baiting scandal
(it should be noted that, for legal reasons, any resemblance
to a famous duck or rabbit is purely coincidental: images are
drawn from images in a National Geographic (but not traced))

Friday, 13 February 2015

A Valentine's Day Special: Poetry In Motion

Wings On The Windscreen Of Love
A poem by Ronnie Peace
Driving the Highway near dusk
Two butterflies
in the distance
making love.
Sexy, sweaty Lepidoptera.