The Idea That Birthed Gogglebox on The People's Couch - Part 2 The Dialogue

(continued from Part 1)

And now, for your square-eyes only, here is the exclusive and mind-numbing dialogue that brought forth the beauty that is the idea of Gogglebox*...
(* or, The People's Couch for American and Canadian viewers)

Is watching Gogglebox from The People's Couch a Good Idea? - Part 1 The Rant

No. And here's how...

A wise man once said that watching TV will make your eyes go square. Every father has at least at one time said that masturbating will make you go blind. 

Well, watching the loosely termed television show Gogglebox* falls somewhere inbetwixed.
(* In America & Canada, hot shot TV execs renamed this show The People's Couch so that it would seem like the show was their own idea and so their bosses would not be able to google it to see if if they had copied the idea or not.)

Though, the entertainment value of the former and the latter far surmounts that of Gogglebox. Or does it?!?

Bossy boots

As detailed in the brilliant documentary "Horrible Bosses" every single human has a natural tendency to want to put their bosses out of their misery. Or, at the very least, to cause harm or pain to.

Reginald was no exception to this rule.

Of course, he could never act on these God-given urges. Or could he?

Hare Of The Dog - The Live Baiting Scandal

Last week (our time) the Australian Greyhound Racing Industry was in turmoil as ABC's Four Corners program uncovered the explosive and disturbing revelation that trainers were conducting live baiting. That is, training greyhounds to race with rabbits, possums and other animals on the lure as bait. 

Cartoon: an Artist's impression of the live-baiting scandal
(it should be noted that, for legal reasons, any resemblance
to a famous duck or rabbit is purely coincidental: images are
drawn from images in a National Geographic (but not traced))

A Valentine's Day Special: Poetry In Motion

Wings On The Windscreen Of Love

A poem by Ronnie Peace

Driving the Highway near dusk

Two butterflies

in the distance

making love.

Sexy, sweaty Lepidoptera.

5 Totally Awesome and Absent Ideas for Baby Showers

Baby Showers are ridiculous.

Firstly, babies don't have showers. At least, not the ones I've had the privilege to meet.

Australia Day Long Weekend Part 2 - Don't Drink The Water

(Continued... 
note: if you haven't read Part 1 click here or this will make even less sense than it actually does)

Next thing we know it's Australia Day and we're hungover.

Each year we celebrate all that is Australia Day by being hungover, blowing up the mini outdoor pool, filling it with water as we cook the bbq, restock the Esky (chilly bin, cooler, box to keep the beer cold), shoo some flies, paint our faces with zinc, apply fake Australian sticker tattoos and turn on the radio to listen to the inaugural Triple J Hottest 100.

Australia Day Long Weekend Part 1 - Fly-Shooing, Thigh-Slapping, Head-Shaking, Sweat It Out

As the post-Christmas/New-Year-Holiday-depression roots itself into my work scenario and, as I'm cussing myself (quite loudly and, if I do say, unnecessarily crudely too) at having wasted my holiday not coming up with a brilliant idea on how not to have to go back to work again, the Australia Day holiday approaches. Here to save the day of every hard-working Aussie with the simple dream of never having to work a day in their life again. At least for a day. You bloody beauty.

Bringing in the New Year - Salutations and Salivations

[ THIS WAS PUBLISHED ONLINE BY INTERNATIONAL LITERARY ONLINE JOURNAL QUEEN MOB'S TEAHOUSE AS 'SOMEBODY BRING IN THE NEW YEAR' ]

Preface: Please bear in mind* this article was intended to be read on New Years Eve, though it was written in early 2015. One of my New Year's resolutions is to be less distracted by shiny objects, and more inclined to manage my time better (and less inclined against the bar most nights). 
Time machine not included.
(*During a successful 14 hour neurological surgery the bear was removed by TV doctor, Dr House. Though not a real doctor per se, he has a delightfully funny bedside manner which was worth the risk)

As the last day of 2014 dawned upon us, friends were heard to shriek "AGH! A cockroach!!", for there was a large cockroach making it's way across the seafood buffet.

New Christmas Songs 2014 - Hymns and Hers

What I don't know about music you couldn't fill a staff with.

While that lead-in sentence is quite the amusing musical overture (there's another), it can be said that music is a part of me (left inner thigh), as much as me is a part of music. It is well known amongst my admirers that I like to keep the beat of bad company. That was, until the so-called bad company found out, and broke into my house to reclaim their beat (don't worry, they were caught and are now doing 4 by 4 time).